"You're in Africa Now, Baby!" #2

Installment # 2:  Reality

"Wildebeest Crossing the Road"

A typical road in Serengeti National Park

The African Massage, or Holy Hemorrhoids

The materials I received said the roads we would travel on this safari were going to be very rough and very dusty. Ladies were advised to bring sports bras. Really??  Sports bras?  What could possibly happen that would make having a sports bra a necessity on this trip? Was this a sports event? Or was it an educational trip? I wondered if I was prepared.

As the safari began, our little group drove east and north on the main highways in two vans. Eventually we turned away from pavement and onto African dirt roads. They were bumpy, with one-lane, gravel, rocks, ruts, dust, and mud. Most days the butt-bouncing, back-bone jarring, and seat-sliding was fun, like a carnival ride gone crazy! We wore seat belts, but after a really bumpy day, I was not confident they were going to help much in case of emergency and I was glad for the sports bra!

For example, one afternoon our guide and driver, Mosses, warned us to "hang on" as he took an extremely fast turn off the dirt road and onto rough savannah surrounding us. The unexpected off-road ride took us speeding over bumps, into ravines, around big rocks, and over the brush. We were bouncing up and down and sliding side to side in our seats, in order to find and photograph a very rare and endangered African black rhino. By CB radio, Mosses had been notified by other guides where to find this rhino and he was driving fast, and taking us on short cuts, so we wouldn't miss this gorgeous animal. While hanging on for dear life, for some reason, I started to laugh, and laugh, and laugh. I hadn't experienced such laughter and feelings of elation and freedom in years! It felt great. And I'm thankful for the journey that led me to this beautiful creature. 

The wild ride: worth it to get a shot of this gigantic Black Bull Rhino!

On the down side, after almost two weeks of bumping and bouncing, my derrière became a bit numb, my back bone felt like it had been relocated, my extremities began to tingle, and I wondered if my teeth were going to break and fall out. I had brought along a special little seat pillow purchased from REI in Portland. I had hoped it would provide some comfort during our long travel days. I was disappointed as it proved to be ineffective and flattened after just a few days under my rear!

Our guides explained to us this experience is common and locally is called "The African Massage!" My body told me loudly it should be renamed, "Holy Hemorrhoids!" Thanks to our guides, we were told in advance each day if we would be experiencing another "African Massage." I would then fluff up my little seat pillow whether it worked or not, fasten my seatbelt, and we would take off!

This lioness crosses a road, avoiding the mud, and above,
children wave on a dusty road.

To Pave or Not to Pave

A big question in Tanzania is whether to pave the roads or not. The issue is currently being discussed by Tanzania's tourism industry and by government officials. If the national park and national reserve roads were paved, it would likely increase the tourism market making travel and reaching wildlife easier for tourists and more comfortable with no "African Massage." On the other hand, is it better to leave things rough, as they are now? This would be a natural way of limiting the number of tourists and vehicles entering and leaving the parks. I began my journey thinking, "oh my, (bounce, bounce) these people need better roads." Two weeks later, I left, hoping the roads would never be paved, leaving the magnificent and endangered Tanzanian wildlife to their natural habitat with as little human interference as possible.

The "Unpaved Road" Heading toward a Serengeti Rain

Taking Care Of Business

One of the most commonly asked questions since my return, is, "when there were no rest rooms available, how did you --- GO?"  There were nice clean rest rooms scattered throughout Tanzania's National Parks, complete with sit down flush commodes and toilet paper. I was grateful our guides knew exactly where they were.

This elephant definitely gets the right of way.

When the guys in our van had a bathroom emergency, they could say, "Hey Mosses, I need to check the pressure in our rear tires!" and we would stop. The guys, one by one, would jump outside, head to the rear of the van, face the opposite direction, and do their business.

For the girls, it was more complicated. We could check the "tire pressure" just like the guys, jump out and head to the back of the van, but we wanted a bit more privacy, some biodegradable tissue, and absolutely no traffic or animals anywhere in sight. Only one of the ladies in our group completely refused to do this. I really don't know how she managed!

In several places we encountered the smelly, much dreaded "hole in the ground" with places for your feet on either side of the "squat hole."  I'm older now, and the "squat" is a lot more difficult than I remembered. Though I can't remember why, I've always called these "bomb sites." I know they've been used since antiquity and are ubiquitous around the world. But they are my least favorite option for relieving myself. However, if it's the only option.... 

Dust swirls in the distant Serengeti

Dusty Days on Safari

Dust!

We were traveling in extremely dry places during the last weeks of the East African "dry season." Dust covered everything including the vans, our luggage, our hair, our faces, our cameras, and our clothing. When it was bad, we rolled up the windows, and when it was really bad we covered our noses and mouths with hospital style cough masks. At the end of each day, all anyone wanted to do was to shower and put on clean clothing.

Safari Showers

This brings us to showering. At the luxury hotels showers were the same as at home if not better. But the Safari-style bucket showers in the Serengeti were new to me. We had been told to expect them, but not being any kind of camper, I had never experienced such things.

Buckets of hot and cold water hung outside our canvas tents. The buckets were connected to a regular shower head by a hose, and we were (supposedly) able to adjust the amount of hot and cold water coming through. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. It was a new system for me to test and experience. The best thing was the system conserved precious energy and water. And a good thing for people to know: each tent had a flush toilet, a sink, and two clean and comfortable beds covered with mosquito netting. The tents were sturdy and kept out wind and rain. Rarely did I see a even a bug inside.

Bucket hot water for showers was heated with boilers, or solar panels.

Morning coffee with friends at Serengeti camp.

Sleeping with Animals

In areas around the cottages and camps where we stayed, I saw animals including lions, buffalo, Marabou storks, zebra, and even elephants roaming nearby. As human intruders, we were advised to be aware and cautious at all times. In the evening and early morning hours, we were required to call for the camp "escorts" to accompany us to and from the main dining and lounge areas. These "escorts" were prepared (some carried knives and I'm not sure what else) and were always on the lookout for the large wild animals that might be nearby and possibly be a danger.

I do know animals of all kinds roamed through the camps during the night. We could hear their night sounds, including grunts and calling to their mates and children in the distance. We learned that the tones and frequency of these calls meant different things. I definitely heard lions (our guide Mosses did a great job of imitating their low groans and growls). And I was glad they did not come too near.  With a casual glance around we could see buffaloes, elephants and giraffes wandering outside the camp's perimeter, usually browsing and eating. The Marabou storks were everywhere and wandered in and out of our camps and picnic areas both day and night most likely looking for food. As you can see, they are large and rather ugly. I thought of them as scavengers.

The Marabou Stork wandered everywhere!

One dark night I awoke to use my tent toilet, and looked out the open mesh window to see if anything was going on. To my shock, a very large and smelly male buffalo was sleeping just the other side of the tent that separated my bed from where he was lying down. Yikes! I didn't panic as he was quite relaxed, chewing cud, and seemed inclined to sleep rather than be concerned with me. Perhaps he was attracted either by my somewhat loud snoring, or by having a warm body nearby! He and his many friends left "traces" every morning on and around the pathways we walked going to meals. One day I watched in horror as a porter wheeled my luggage down the path right through a pile of poop! I tried to clean my luggage when I got home, but was fairly grossed out. It might be best to simply buy a new one.

Early morning poop on the path to my tent. Watch out where you step!

The White Maasai Momma

I briefly fell in love with a tall and handsome Maasai Chief from the village (or boma) near Osupuko Lodge in Tarangire Park where we stayed for several nights. As part of our experience we visited the straw, mud and wattle homes of his village. He stood guard the entire hour we sat in the house of one of his wives, having a lecture about Maasai life. This Chief was a man of few words and like the male lions and the male elephants we observed in the parks, he was in charge and we knew it by his stately bearing and demeanor. The other village men were around, but it was very clear that they deferred to the Chief. After his small tribe welcomed us with songs, dancing and jumping (jumping is a Maasai tradition) and after our lecture, we were invited to look at some of the hand made jewelry, carvings, and textiles, made by the village ladies. I decided to purchase a beautiful blue checked Maasai cloth. The handsome Chief bargained with me, and handled every money exchange. I carefully watched him the next morning as he shared the money from all of our purchases among the village women.

Maasai "Mommas" selling handmade beaded jewelry.

The handsome Maasai Chief

The "White Maasai Momma"

Typical Maasai Bowma Homes

Alas, my husband need not have worried about my "crush". After I watched how things worked in his village, I determined Maasai life was not for me. Most of my readers and friends know I'm a fairly strong willed person with opinions that I readily share. I don't think the Chief and I would have gotten along too well. Sigh. I'm also Mrs. Clean, and the interior of the boma huts had packed dirt floors, ceilings of wood and dried leaf fronds, and no chimney or hole in the roof for cooking smoke to escape. The combination made for a rather unique smell and my sensitive allergies didn't much like it. By the time we left the hut, my nose was stuffed and my eyes were dripping. I was not cut out to be a "White Maasai Momma" although my new safari friends called me that whenever I wore my beautiful Maasai cloth!

As best I could tell, the women built and repaired the huts, cooked the meals, had the babies and raised them, washed the clothes and made all the items for sale. The young boys took care of the goats and cows. The girls helped their mothers. I wasn't sure what the grown men actually did! Some were escorts at the Osupuko Lodge where we stayed, but other than that, I don't know how they passed their time. I also don't think I'd look that good with a shaved head.

Living the Maasai life was not for me! I do think the Maasai are some of the most physically beautiful people on earth. I loved learning about them, and wished I could have befriended some of the village women and their adorable children.

Maasai "escort" at Osupuko Lodge                                          Maasai at Sunrise, Osupuko Lodge Pool

An interesting aside about the Maasai: for all their primitive living conditions, and from their reluctance to send their children to schools, some of them were surprisingly aware of the political situation here in the U.S. and eagerly asked the male members of our group (not us women) their opinion about our President, Mr. Trump!
And Watch for the last installment to come:

• Animals in Love
• Manyara, The Lake That Isn't There
• The Fall
• The Coke Fix
• And, My Favorite Photos!